Redemption
by kurakosho
Summary: I was there. Yet I was not there. I had personalities. Yet maybe none of it was truly true. What a lonesome existence, burning briefly ever so bright, and yet nobody noticed it. I truly thought I didn't deserve her love, so I left her. ...and this is kind of embarrassing, but did you know what she did? GenFic/Canon Compliant/Post-707 route.


Dear God,

Thank you for letting me met her.

I guess all the trial before is to test me whether I'm worthy of her or not. I'm not going to lie in front of You, haha, I do wish that it was a little easier. I'm sorry to say this, but her worth can't be measured by any amount of trial You can muster. I'm prepared to go back from hell itself if I can meet her in the next life.

Truth to be told I was bored of this world. I asked, lamented, why was I born with this brain? I worked hard to earn my place, to convince the boss of my usefulness to let me live for another second, to give a bright future for my brother. And yet everything turns out so wrong.

I was there. Yet I was not there.

I had personalities. Yet maybe none of it was truly true.

What a lonesome existence, burning briefly ever so bright, and yet nobody noticed it. Like an invisible meteor.

I hated it, but there's nothing more that can be done. I had thought that maybe it was a curse altogether. I did a lot of sinful things in the past, and I didn't even deserve to exist.

Then so be it. I'm not one to plan something beyond my reach, I knew from the start that something like that was futile. I acknowledged my futilely and role in this world.

But it seems that I was wrong.  
There truly are somethings in this world that can't be predicted.

I tried so hard to deny it, tried so hard to think that I can't deserve happiness when my brother is suffering. I pushed her away, I hoped so much that in this life of mine, I don't want to hurt anyone else. It's better for me to suffer alone.

I think You knew what happened, but I will tell You anyway God. She slapped me. She said that "Can't you see that what you're doing is what hurts me the most?! You're so blind, to think that you knew everything and you should be the one to decide what path should I thread! Even I can see what you're doing is the thing that destroys you the most! I love you! Every part of you! Was it so wrong, Saeyoung?!"

Uh... It's lame, but I hugged and cried so much. The emotions I tried to held back came rushing in at that moment.

God. I truly did not expect that. She's so stubborn. But ever since then, I knew that she's truly the one that You graced me.

The way that her kindness, ever so gentle and patiently reached my closed off heart. The way that her fingers filled the gap of my fingers perfectly. The way that her determined yet soft voice said that everything will be alright. The way that she believed in me when I can't even believe in myself. The way that she loved me when I hate myself that I don't care if my life was cut short. The way that she goof around with me. The way that she knows that I'm serious. The way that her heart sped up like mine when we embrace. The way that her chest ever so gently rise and fall when she sleep peacefully next to me.

The way that she just accepts everything about me and completed my broken off heart with hers.

She is the proof of my life.

Of all the things that turned out wrong, she was one of the few that turned out so right.

To her, that continues to fill my life with happiness and to God that allowed me to be birthed into the world with my brother, thank You.

I'm sorry to be selfish again, but please bless us with your grace now and tomorrow.

May we ever be able to thread along this path of happiness, until we wither away of old age after raising our precious children together.

There's so much things that I wish she would know about me, there's so much things that I wish I know about her. There's so much of things I want to know about this world with our family.

This is the world that we live in. And this is our purpose.

That is what I wished for. Thank You for watching us forever more. May I be able to repay your grace with goodness upon others while I existed.

Amen.

"Hey, Saeyoung. I saw the way your expression changed so much when you prayed. I wonder what did you pray about." she smiled mischievously "is it about me?" I smiled warmly to her "Ahh, good thing that prayer are wireless and private. Come on, lets make breakfast before our children are awake!"

"Meanie Sae. I'm putting extra veggies in your plate. Ah- hey! Who eats honey butter chips with pancakes?!"

Originally written on 14 October 2017 and published at 29 December 2019.  
Yes, I uh, kinda forgot about this fic. I think it's still quite fluffy though even though MysMes hype kinda dries up recently.  
Thanks for reading!


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